I Suck

...and the only person that cares is me.

I have been wanting to try my hand at scultping for a while now. I've sculpted bits, but never a whole model. Like every wargamer, I have ideas for what might make for a cool miniature or alternate sculpt. The desire was great enough to where I picked up a pencil to bang out some concepts. It was then I realized the pencil is not my friend any more.

It amazes me how many artists state they knew they wanted to be artists since forever. The thing I really wanted to be as a child was a Hardy Boy. Sadly, my last name was not Hardy so the dream was not a long one. It was probably not until I was about ten or twelve before I first started to draw outside of a class assignment or coloring book out of boredom. It was also around this same time I discovered comic books. Ninja Turtles were pretty popular at the time as well. I was a dabbler, and art fell to the wayside as I went into High School. I did take an Art 101 and Ceramics class Senior year because I needed to fill out the day and already maxed out on what science and math courses were available at my school. About the only thing I remember making was a landscape illustration of a barn and trying to pass off hand-made pipes as other objects.

After High School I ran into the issue of no time and my body becoming harder to control. I lost pretty much everything through a series of moves and homelessness. The only art I have from growing up was a piece my great grandmother kept where I straight up copied a Rob Liefeld drawing. I was going to toss it after she left it to me, but my roommate talked me out of doing so. It's in a closet or storage unit somewhere right now.

It was not until I was playing the MMO City of Heroes that I tried drawing again. This was 2006 or 2007.To give you some perspective, I was supposed to graduate in 1997. I drew infrequently, but I had fun trying to draw the characters of people I knew from the game. I did not draw much at that time. I think every "finished" drawing but one is on my deviantart page. The last 2D image I uploaded to deviant art was in March of 2009. The only thing I had drawn since was a logo onto a ginormous stocking as a gag for the local game shop that was running a stocking stuffer sale.

So I am trying to learn the basics. Basically the things I skipped at the start because I did not want to do them. I have spent the last few weeks filling pages of printer paper with jerky lines and potatoes that were wishing to be ovals. If I could not draw then I at least experimented with ways to hold the pencil every day. I am holding a pencil while I type this even. I am trying to get comfortable just holding a pencil. There have been some gesture drawings to break up the monotony. I watched a lot of youtube. I spent more time on youtube than I should have compared to the amount I have been drawing, but meh. I drew my first portrait yesterday. It is sketchy and misshapen even though it is based on a photograph. I am hesitant to go back and alter it as I can use it as a recording point. Also, I do not want to get stuck on one piece right now. For me it is not so much the art itself, but the stories art can tell which intrigue me.

There are many things I can see which are wrong, but I can see some good as well. I am finding my sense of form in 3D is stronger than it was when I was younger. I do not know if this is from years of working with miniatures, or something I would have picked up on my own with age anyway. So much of art is how we perceive things that it is natural to change with time. My anatomy is off and my lines are shaky, but it is nice to see something there I know was not present in my art before.

I need to keep up with exercising my hand-eye coordination and line confidence. I think I will also try to start some anatomy studies. I want to try my hand at either brush inking or acrylic painting since I have the materials, but I do not feel my basics are there yet. I might move on to using a different paper from the printer paper I've been using however. I can see myself getting lost in a new toy instead of focusing on a foundation for future growth.